my friend, Jenny Jones.

I could've sworn I heard/ them whispering in my ear/ their words so painful & sad/ I didn't want to hear/ I'm lost inside my mind/ reality seems so far away/ I feel I can explain this/ but it's impossible to say/ I start rocking back & forth/ swaying with the wind/ trying to calm the pain/ that bites me deep within/ I know I'm in here somewhere/ where are you?/ I see you standing next to me/ but I don't think it's true/I feel like I am being/ watched by everyone/ I wonder if they can hear/ my thoughts as they quickly run/ my head spins in circles/ I can't tell if this is real/ the doctors take my blood/ but their needles I can't feel/ I start crying, but inside/ I'm laughing at myself/ I start to think I'm not/ human or like anybody else/ I see shadows jump around/ on the ceilings as I lay in bed/ they dance around as I try to/ convince myself its all in my head/ I can't fall asleep/ my eyes cannot stay closed/ gravity is crushing down into me/ tearing apart my bones/ I rise out of my body/ & start to float around/ I am still laying paralyzed in bed/ but my soul moves about/ everything is a blur/ things become unclear/ I begin to converse with these/ voices that I hear/ they become my friends/ the only ones truly there/ even though they taunt me/ underneath they care/ they tell me nothing is real/ everything is made-belief/ the only way I can escape this place/is if I get up & leave/ my eyes pull towards the pills/ the doctor gave to me/ he said they would make me well/ but I still feel crazy/ maybe he was trying/ to give me a sign/ the only way to cure myself/ suicide/ have I lost myself forever?/ I don't remember life before this/ I never hurt myself/ why are there cuts on my wrist?/ the doctors strap me down/ in the bed I'm forced to stay/ "I never harmed myself"/ "It was all a big mistake"/ I think this is all nightmare/ & I will wake up soon/ but I haven't been to sleep all night/ & it's now the afternoon/ what have I done to myself?/ why has this happened to me?/ what is wrong inside my brain?/ Is this who I'm meant to be?/ I can't communicate/ anymore to anyone/ I can't finish a sentence/ that I haven't even begun/ my thoughts are scattered/ my brain's had enough/ it feels though my mind/ walked away & just shut off/ they've got a hold of me/ they're taking me away/ I will return back to myself/ someday/ they put me in a room/ why is it so dark?/ where are all the windows?/ why can't I move my arms?/ the voices scream in my head/ I tell them to quiet down/ they laugh at me more/ my sanity they drown/ I try to make a deal with them/ I tell them to be good/ so I can get out of here/ & do the things they ask me to do/ they agree that's fine/ & give me back my mind/ I am finally free of this/ but they'll be back in time/